Tuesday, April 26, 2011

The Ballad Of The Birthers

So Barack Hussein Obama
With his Papa and his Mama
Were in Kenya to experience the miracle of birth
And the bouncing baby's bounce meant
Time to send a fake announcement
To a paper in Hawaii, on the other side of Earth

Cos the birthers know that when ya
Have a baby born in Kenya
Why, his options there are limited--not much he might achieve--
And it's quite a common caper
Calling up a foreign paper
After all, we know that journalists are easy to deceive!

They can't prove he's not Hawaiian
But it's not for lack of tryin'
As investigators scurry for the tiniest of clues
With The Donald's cash behind 'em
There's no reason to remind 'em
And no feather-brained conspiracy republicans can't use

'Mongst the birthers, it is fabled
That his DNA is labeled
"Made in Kenya" and a microscope would set the record straight
He could set a good example
If he offered up a sample
But he'll likely be unreasonable and make the birthers wait

Not to call them prejudicial
But the process is official:
If it says that he's American, that document's a lie.
Every birther clearly knows it
So there must be one that shows it
And with diligent persistence, they will find it by and by

Why on earth would CNN feel the need to run an investigation at this point? Any sane human being already knows, and at least one of the insane human beings "takes the president at his word" (trying to have it both ways). Who could possibly remain unconvinced? Who could possibly be so dense?

Oh. 47% of Republicans, nationwide.


Melissa said...

I thought this was long over. And then you go and link to a news story and write a ballad. And I just had to follow the links and read through this bullshit again.

paw said...

"diligent", cuttle, please. Otherwise, perfect.

The Ridger, FCD said...

It's not over. It's bouncing around in the echo chamber the nutty branch of the GOP inhabits. It will never go away. Never. The question is why the hell it's news.

Cuttlefish said...

CM--Ack! Thanks!

entropy said...

Well, that was awesome!

I think it is time to tell the Birthers to get over it, regardless as to the veracity (none) of their claims, à la their post 2000 election slogan.

Epicyclic said...

Geez Louise! Huckabee wants to place the muzzle of a gun to my head and Osama wants to kill me, where will I move to?

Die Anyway said...

This issue was raised during the campaign. We voted him in anyway. Seems to me that trumps the Kenya/Hawaii question. Republicans are always wanting to fudge certain constitutional issue when it suits them. So fair's fair. Non-Republicans get to skirt an issue now and then too.
Not that I particularly think there's an actual issue to skirt, hell, his mother is American so what does it matter what bit of Earth she was standing on when she brought a new kid into the world? I grew up in a military family, half of my friends weren't born in America. Would they all be excluded?
Bottom line: we voted, one side won, the other side has to suck it up and try harder next time. Republicans are just a bunch of hypocritical crybabies.

Oh yeah, nice poem. :-)