Saturday, October 18, 2008

God Save Us All...

In a cogent and thoughtful essay bizarre set of free associations and finger pointing, Melanie Phillips looks over from across the sea--you know, where people point at the US at amazement for how we kowtow to the religious right--and helpfully suggests that she has found the root of the problem. I have taken the liberty of organizing her remarks just the slightest bit...

God save us from the Atheists--
They're even worse than Gays;
God save us from depravity and wicked, wicked ways.

They reek of impropriety
And decadence and sin
Their morals do not come from God, but rather from within!

Their Bedrock Moral Values
Are discarded in the dust;
No fear of Hell prevents them from succumbing to their lust!

Why, only our profound belief
In God's Most Holy Joys
Prevents us from--well, most of us--molesting altar boys!

As Jesus said, "forgive them"
In His final mortal breath--
We'd never bother cracker-thieves, nor threaten them with death.

Our Faith provides humility--
We know that we are flawed.
And sometimes our appeals for tithes are bordering on fraud

And looking through our history
Of meeting other cultures
It seems sometimes we're not quite doves so much as we are vultures

But through it all, we're moral
Cos we're acting in God's Name;
And when our culture goes to Hell... there's Atheists to blame.

Hat tip to PZ, of course.


Tony said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
K. Signal Eingang said...

(standing ovation)

Anonymous said...

oh, the "In God's Most Holy Joys Prevents us from--well, most of us--molesting altar boys!" was a low blow; 10 pts to the cuttlefish.

Tim Danaher said...

Pure Win.

And as a resident of the UK, and a Radio 4 listener, there's no getting away from the odious Ms. Phillips. She's a sort of British Anne-Coulter-Lite. A waste of skin, as we say.