Sunday, November 21, 2010

At The Airport

I was heading on vacation
And I needed transportation
From location to location
So thought I’d hop a plane
But the flying population
Has a modern obligation
Borne of fear and desperation
Though it goes against our grain

At the port of embarkation
There’s increased investigation
(With attendant irritation)
For our safety, so they say—
Using X-ray radiation
In a new configuration
To assist examination
And to get us on our way

But it takes coordination
To avoid some aberration
And despite their dedication
Somehow, problems will arise
Something odd in presentation,
Maybe dithered pixilation,
Or a plain disinclination
To have X-rays near one’s thighs

With the slightest instigation,
Like an awkward hesitation
(or mid-eastern pigmentation),
You’ll get pulled behind the rope
Where to hell with moderation
Or the flyer’s protestation—
Though it’s not quite penetration
It’s a very thorough grope

Is it merely exploitation
Of a country’s trepidation?
Is our self-determination
Just a fad that’s now reversed?
After some deliberation
I’ve got just one stipulation:
I won’t stand for molestation
‘less you buy me dinner first


Kevin said...

I was trying to come up with the right adjective to describe this, none seem laudatory enough. I'm flying tomorrow and trying to figure out how I'm going to handle it if I get pulled aside.

On an unrelated note, I recently got my first comment from Mabus - how do you typically deal with him? Just delete?

Cuttlefish said...

Kevin--it would depend on what tools you have available. Over at We Beasties, you might want to ask PZ or Orac or the others who regularly get his visits as ScienceBlogs.