Friday, May 20, 2011

Wrong-Again Harold (A Camping Song)

Wrong-again Harold had made a prediction
Wrong-again Harold was once again wrong
Wrong-again Harold believed in a fiction,
But wrong-again Harold kept chugging along.

Wrong-again Harold had plenty of money
So wrong-again Harold bought billboards and such
People who saw them all thought they were funny
But wrong-again Harold, he didn’t care much

Wrong-again Harold misled the believers
Wrong-again Harold expressed no remorse
Wrong-again, wrong-again,
Wrong-again Harold stayed true to his course.

Wrong-again Harold, he looked through the bible
Wrong-again Harold, he did all the math
Wrong-again Harold, he claim’s he’s reli’ble
And gives us the date and the time of god’s wrath

Wrong-again Harold, I feel I should mention,
Wrong-again Harold has done this before;
Wrong-again Harold, he craves the attention—
Wrong-again Harold’s a media whore.

Wrong-again Harold misled the reporters
Wrong-again Harold expressed no remorse
Wrong-again, wrong-again,
Wrong-again Harold stayed true to his course.

Wrong-again Harold’s not much of a story
Wrong-again Harold has nothing to say
Wrong about rapture and heaven and glory
Please, can we just put this story away?

Wrong-again Harold, the media darling,
Radio, papers, the web, and TV
There on your soapbox, you’ve led me to snarling:
Bury this story, and just let me be!

Wrong-again Harold provided the message
Wrong-again Media, added their force
Wrong-again, wrong-again,
Wrong-again Harold stayed true to his course.

Is there a media outlet anywhere that has not given this man coverage? How many separate stories has he been in, among the major players? This has all the civility of a circus freak show, and I'm sick of it.


Anonymous said...

I don't know what melody you had in mind (if any), but the meter goes very well with the old Temperance song, "Father's a Drunkard and Mother Is Dead."

"Weary and tired I've wandered all day,
Asking for work but I'm too young they say.
All the day long I've been begging for bread,
Father's a drunkard and Mother is dead."

Cuttlefish said...

I had no specific tune in mind, but that seems quite right!

Die Anyway said...

I was on a business conference call today and at one point we were setting up meetings for next week and various future project deadlines. I almost (almost) asked why we were bothering since the Rapture was scheduled for this weekend. I didn't have the nerve though. Damn.

My bet... there will be not even one-tenth the coverage for the failure of the prediction as there was for the prediction itself.

Anonymous said...

The BBC's picked up on the non-believers' aspect, FWIW.

That said,

cm (this cm) is five* hours ahead of you
cm (*that* cm) is probably doomed
cm is thinking it's probably fictional
but cm will post here if judgement day looms.

* -ish.

Cuttlefish said...

What's amusing, CM-anonymous, is that Camping's camp are such a tiny minority of christians, and a small minority of rapture-believing christians; the Beeb's story could have focused on virtually any group's reaction, but implied that christians are on Camping's side.

I wonder which is worst--to be grouped with Camping, or to be grouped with atheists.

Anonymous said...

I have evidence to show today was just the False Rapture. I know when the real Save the Date is! It's as clear as day! The numbers don't lie.