Friday, March 28, 2008

Friday Limericks: You wouldn't like me when I'm angry

I’ve been making one hell of a list
Of the things that keep getting me pissed
I’ll remember them all
From the great to the small
And be mad if there’s any I’ve missed

Like, for instance, the country’s at war
And the president’s judgment is poor
There’s so much we could choose
To explore in the news,
But they lead with the Guv and the whore.

And I’m mad cos I watch my TV
When I know what it’s doing to me—
My blood pressure rises
As shows award prizes
For crap I would pay not to see.

And I’m angry at freakin’ Ben Stein
And that movie on Stupid Design
Cos if we’re created
It’s clear that God hated
Our asses—or maybe just mine.

So, hate is the topic today
Or dislike, or annoyance, dismay,
Hot and bothered vexation
Or mere irritation—
I’m sure you have something to say!

That's right--the topic today is whatever annoys you. Irritates you. Bothers you. Steams your clams. Burns your beans. Gets your goat. Harshes your mellow. Pisses in your cornflakes. Frays your last nerve...

You get the point. Have at it!

(One thing that does not make me mad--I was very happy to see all the limericks last week! And I'd love to see more--I know I have lurkers here, not commenting; come on! Limericks are easy!)


Cath@VWXYNot? said...

Lately the bulbs have been growing
And the buds on the roses are showing
But now it's all cold
This is getting real old
And why is it still fucking snowing?


I come in to work on my bike
And one thing I really don't like
Is a big SUV
Whose driver can't see
Get out of your car; take a hike!

Have you decided on a charity yet so I can donate your prize from my own limerick competition?

gg said...

What annoys me are the framers
Who think that science should be tamer
Though they try to deny it
They want Myers to be quiet
In short, they want scientists lamer!

Rana said...

I hate it whenever I find
A blog post that echoes my mind
That calls out to me
To comment swiftly
But my ideas just stall and rewind

And I really just cannot abide
To see gamma rays blasted outside
Their purpose, I thunk
Was to unleash the hunk
That secretly all humans hide

I hate it whenever you've cursed
That the comments must always be versed
But it's not quite so bitter
If I stumble and twitter
Yet still end up here as the first


It's now getting really absurd
I'd just gone to preview my word
To find out that two more
Have got in before
To push this right back to third :)

Jennifer said...

It is spring, so now everything's brown,
mud and muck spread all over the ground.
I do wish it would snow
(just until the plants grow!)
to cover up the goop that's around.

I can't get mad at public TV,
but they do owe me one DVD:
I made my donation,
but to my frustration
the gift never arrived that was free!

Mad Marley Grey said...

Being a girl gamer geek
Decent RP is all that I seek
But I'm feeling quite worn
'cause I only find porn
And keep getting hit on all week.

And my sewing machine has quit working
Despite all my urging and jerking
I just need a thrust
A nice corsetted bust
The technology gods must be smirking.

Mad Hatter said...

I cannot maintain my comportment
When trapped by slow-moving impediment
Why buy a Maserati
If you'll only go 40
Might as well drive John Deere equipment

Unknown said...

The media make my blood boil,
When news anchors start to despoil
The facts with their polls, analyzed by the trolls,
And pundits who hawk their snake oil.

Straight facts are not relevant these days.
Just, “he says,” and “she says,” “and we says…”
Are all that’s essential, plus dirt that’s tangential.
Hyperbolic mendacity pays!

Talking heads, tight-ass passion inflamers
Call those lib’ruls rude names. And the framers…
Of asshat IDers, and rich profiteers
Rile the faithful. Great job, crass defamers!

Republican truth and decorum
Is modeled by folks like Santorum.
They tell us they’re truthy, but exposed as uncouthy
Ain’t it great? Don’t you all just adore ‘em?

So I’ll sit down to watch tonight’s news.
It’s just more of right-wing batshit views.
Exploitive distracters, misogynistic wise-crackers,
Who lie, obfuscate and confuse!

Amanda Martin said...

I know I've got thoughts to explore,
Yet my poems are always a snore.
Still, I sit down to write,
Give my pencil a bite--
And see that it's Friday no more.

The Ridger, FCD said...

The thing that will get me quite hot
Is an issue that's seemingly fraught:
The tech can't self start
And the Board's not so Smart:
It's IT support that is not.