Friday, March 21, 2008

Friday Limericks: Front Page Muse

The first installment of what I hope will become a regular feature--The Friday Limerick Post! In your comments, please add your own limericks! (sorry it is up a bit late--the power was out here this morning)

The topic this week: Front Page Muse. Whatever your local paper has on its front page, from soup to nuts, from sports to weather, from alpha to omega, those are the topics from which you get to choose! I'll start us off with this article, on the front page of the New York Times, about parents who are refusing to vaccinate their children, and the very serious increased risk to those children and to other children (because of the benefits of "herd immunity", which requires a substantial percentage of the population to be vaccinated) brought about by the misguided ignorance of these parents. It is worth reading the article... Meanwhile...

Although hundreds of thousands will die
From the measles, some parents deny
A life-saving vaccine,
Not because they are mean,
But because they have swallowed a lie.

Vaccinations are such a success
That diseases are noticed much less
So we start to relax,
And the anti-vax quacks
Take the chance to make science regress!

Though they don’t have one fact on their side,
At this point, it’s a matter of pride—
They can’t say they were wrong;
Their belief is so strong
And insanity won’t be denied.

Rule number one: Have fun!
Rule number two: Unless it contradicts rule number one, write a limerick, and maybe even link to your local newspaper so we can see where you are commenting from!
Rule number three: Lurking without posting limericks will be tolerated, but if we catch you we get to tickle you with an ostrich feather. So why not try a limerick?


Rana said...

OK, front page UK news. The Catholic church restated that they would prefer to let people unnecessarily suffer and die from treatable diseases rather than allow manipulation of brainless stem cells. And bookmakers were allowed to open on Good Friday for the first time.

To keep the faith in this land
Gambling at Easter was banned.
But today I will bet
That the church will not let
Evidence defeat revelation.

Mad Hatter said...

A Friday Limerick Post is a great idea! I'd rather not reveal my specific location, so I'll just link to this NYT article on the flooding in the Midwest.

Flood waters continue to rise
As if we by Neptune are despised
But science now explains
Effects of heavy rains
So no need for a virgin sacrifice

EcoGeoFemme said...

While floods are damaging many parts of the Midwest, a late winter storm visited my area today.

Though already spring, there is snow
With gray skies and winds that do blow
It really does suck
To drive through this muck
So on holiday break I can’t go.

Rana said...

Just realized I had hit submit while still composing it. Sorry!

Unlike those notes about weather
My note was not quite together
I thought "revelation"
Would rhyme up with "nation"
I now fear that old ostrich feather.

Cuttlefish said...

Ah, winter, in all of its forms!
From the fury and might of its storms
To the clear of the night
When polaris, so bright,
Although freezing, some part of me warms

Will a parka or jacket suffice
To protect from the snow and the ice?
When the winds of a blizzard
Chill clear to the gizzard
More layers, as a rule, would be nice!

In the UK, the front page now tells
Of the claptrap the Catholic Church sells--
They will hold up their morals
While everyone quarrels
To the tune of the funeral bells.

A feather, from ostrich or quail,
Brings a torture of sorts, without fail--
Since this is the first,
We will leave you uncursed
Ah, but next time, the peacock's tail's tale!

Eric said...

Ho-lee CRAP!

I just wrote a three verse limerick about the fatal woman/spotted eagle ray collision in Florida and lost it when I tried to log in! I even used Mrs. Zagorski and Myliobatidae in the verse!

From hells heart I spit at thee, Google!

Unknown said...

* New Christian coffeehouse in the Sacramento area.
(Quotes come from the article)

“On a bean and a prayer” come the faithful,
To avoid drinking lattes with thugs…
Like those evil ones there at the Starbucks. That’s where
Those atheists deflower the mugs!

Hey, gimmee a tall “Frozen Chosen…”
I need a skydaddy fix quick!
At Jericho’s* tables you can trade Jesus fables
And “Fruits of the Spirit” – oh ick!

Oh come, ye who want to be saved now.
Good Christians, let’s “fellowship” here.
No Darwinist drivel to make your balls shrivel
Not one uppity female, nor queer…

Will we tolerate here in God’s refuge.
You’ll be safe from all reason and wit.
You’ll read the Good Book-- divine gobbledygook,
Full of lies and Pecksniffish batshit!

The Ridger, FCD said...

From today's Baltimore Sun: Russian firm buys the Point:
Severstal plans to run steel mill at capacity

The Russians have bought Sparrows Point.
They'll completely rehab the old joint.
The workers had fears
They'd be laid off in tears
But the Russkies say that's not point:

Severstal wants the mill to keep going
'Cause they want the cash to keep flowing
From old Baltimore
To the cold North Sea shore
And they don't mind a bit of seed sowing.

"The Russians are coming!" was once
A cry to inspire witch hunts.
But it seems now the reason
(Though it's not football season)
For kicking field goals and not punts.

The union - they're really not dumb -
Could hardly be any less glum:
"Though a stepchild before,
Now there's more work in store,
And we really don't care where they're from."

Podblack said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Podblack said...

Gah. I'm more of a double-dactyl girl, that's my problem... I blame a certain Tricky-influence that led me astray. But I'll try:

The Age - Gilmore Girl Tames Bells Again.

There once was a girl from Australia
Took all comers in surfing regalia
In 9.33 waves
Her title she saves
Try better her score? She will whale ya!

Oh - apparently there's a Limerick Free Riders club too. Heh.