Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Kick off your Sunday shoes, Missouri!

Afarensis reports on life imitating art imitating life. It's Footloose, but in St. Charles, Mo. "The proposal would ban indecent, profane or obscene language, songs, entertainment and literature at bars."

So if Kenny Loggins wants to cut the soundtrack to Kevin Bacon's "Footloose 2: The Documentary", I scribbled down a few lines for him...

It's the limit! It's the end!
From now on it's "What a friend
We have in Jeeeeeeeesus!"
It's a blizzard, not a flurry,
Cos the people of Missouri
Say Hell freeeeeeezes!

I'll take everything to God in prayer,
And hope to hell that God is there
From what to sing, to what to wear
Let God decide, cos I don't caaaaaaaare...

Grow a backbone, you amoeba
Or you'll nevermore hear Reba
McEntiiiiiiiiiire
Cos St. Charles is making you sick
And the Devil loves rock music
And hellfiiiiiiiire

I'll take everything to God in prayer,
And hope to hell that God is there
From what to sing, to what to wear
Let God decide, cos I don't caaaaaaaare...

Hurry, scurry, time to worry, no more sinning in Missouri
Onward Christian soldiers, now advaaaaance!
Shakin', quakin', god-forsaken, send the call for Kevin Bacon
Maybe he can teach the kids to daaaance!

And what's more, the city's thinking
Let's ban table-dancing, drinking,
Yes, and sweeeeeaaaaaring
We can see throughout these verses,
And the famines, plagues, and curses
That God's caaaaaaaaaring

I'll take everything to God in prayer,
And hope to hell that God is there
From what to sing, to what to wear
Let God decide, cos I don't caaaaaaaare...

Hurry, scurry, time to worry, no more sinning in Missouri
Onward Christian soldiers, now advaaaaance!
Shakin', quakin', god-forsaken, send the call for Kevin Bacon
Maybe he can teach the kids to daaaance!
Six degrees from maybe our last chaaaance...

3 comments:

Podblack said...

Okay, that's the funniest one yet, you brat! :D :D

EcoGeoFemme said...

How long does it take you to write these things?

Cuttlefish said...

Thanks, pod...

EGF... wow. Um... it really depends. Some write themselves, and the limiter is the time it takes to type it. Some take longer. This one was fairly fast--would have been faster, but I was having computer problems.

I've had sonnets emerge in 10-15 minutes, or brief little songs take months. Heck, I have a song I have been working on for about 3-1/2 years, and made a breakthrough on it just today.

Now that you ask, I am tempted to actually time myself and chart the results... but much too lazy to actually do that.