Happy Donut Day!

Let us raise our voice in chorus
For that deep-fried, doughy torus
Though it’s not the best thing for us
It’s a super special treat

Found in bakeries or delis,
Dipped in sugars, filled with jellies,
We can stuff them in our bellies
Just as fast as we can eat

And it's Donuts, Donuts, Donuts, and Hooray, Hooray, Hooray!
So let's all go out and go nuts, saying Happy Donut Day!

Surely, nothing could be duller
Than a day without a cruller
In that toasted-almond color
So you know it's cooked just right

I love fritters and berliners
Some say Boston Cremes are winners
Cider donuts for beginners
So you're hooked at just one bite!

And it's Donuts, Donuts, Donuts, and Hooray, Hooray, Hooray!
So let's all go out and go nuts, saying Happy Donut Day!


In the US, the first Friday in June is, as you all know, National Doughnut Day (or National Donut Day). Rumor has it that both Krispy Kreme and Dunkin' Donuts are handing out free donuts (or doughnuts) today. I don't know; I'm on a diet. Besides, the best donut in the known universe (as determined by me, but objectively true nonetheless) is no longer being made. It was the apple fritter (don't complain that it is not technically a donut--it is the perfection that every donut would want to be if were able to choose) made by a small bakery one town over from Cuttletown. I lived next door to that bakery 27 years ago, and never tired of those fritters. We moved away, and when I went back to visit over a decade later, they had discontinued their fritters! Customers just weren't buying deep-fried pastries, so they got rid of the equipment (gasp!) and the recipe (horror!).

So, you can have your National Donut Day (or National Doughnut Day); for me, it is a day of mourning, for what was, for its time in the universe, the best possible argument for Platonic Ideals.