I Put A Spell On You!

P-Zed reports on the Indianapolis public school system's decision to block certain websites from their school's computers. Nothing major there. But it appears (maybe it's just a grammar problem--wait, in the schools? can't be!), but it looks like one of the things they are worried about is that students would then have access to the spells and incantations used by atheists.

I couldn't find my copy of "atheist spells for dummies", and I don't trust my memory any more, but I don't seem to recall us atheist types actually having any spells or incantations in the first place.

So I wrote one.


I invoke the godless fires
In the name of P. Z. Myers
And if Satan were not fiction, I'd be using his name, too!
Poison potions in my kitchens
Are the legacy of Hitchens,
And of Dennett, Dawkins, Harris... (if you're reading this, then you!)
It's a special incantation
For the heathens in our nation
Surely Darwin grants approval from his sulphur throne in hell--
If I knew the phrase in Latin
I'd recite it, smooth as satin,
But since atheists don't do that shit, perhaps it's just as well.