Eating Mermaid

Via PZ, and via SC (!!!), the news is that there is a fatwa on the subject of eating mermaid.

Now, as a cuttlefish, I have known a mermaid or two in my day. One, of course, preferred to go by the Greek, "gorgona", from which we get the monster "Gorgon"; there is no cute and cuddly Disney mermaid in Greek culture. The other mermaid I knew was decidedly cuter and cuddlier. I never had the opportunity, nor the desire, to consume either of them, so I want to make it clear that today's verse is not about either of those mermaids.

It is, however, about food. But (as my first Mermaid always reminded me)... the food is just an excuse.


A fish connoisseur made paella with Mermaid;
He thought the aroma was nice.
With garnish of seaweed (his sycophants “oui-oui-ed”)
And saffron infusing the rice.
He clarified butter, and started to mutter
“It tastes like it’s really Mazola”
Then added blue cheeses: “the trick, if you please, is—
With Gorgon, you need gorgonzola!”
With minimum bluster, he gutted and trussed her;
You see, in his studies, he’d learned
That the delicate features of mermaid-like creatures,
If left unattended, get burned.
The succulent breast of (as well as the rest of)
The meal, would make proud its creator;
I was told that one bite would bring utter delight,
And I could not refuse… so I ate her.