Sunday, February 27, 2011

Ooooh... Quantum!

You can learn "facilitation"
Through our public presentation;
You don't need to be a doctor with a medical degree!
Pills or needles? We don't want 'em
What we're doing here is quantum—
You can learn to be an expert, if you've got the weekend free
We’re not scandalous or shady—
Why, just listen to this lady
Who was cured of emphysema in three-quarters of an hour
Sure, at first it rather shocked her
That I’m not a licensed doctor
But in under fifty minutes I’d convinced her of my power
Proper med school is so grueling,
But there’s no real need of schooling
If you follow my instructions, and the methods I have found
Raise your arms up to the ceiling,
Say “it’s time to start the healing”
And for roughly half an hour, simply wave your hands around.

Cuttlecap tip to PZ, of course.


Cyc said...

Quantum, such a relatively simple word. Granted it encompasses some of the most counter-intuitive realms of science, but it is a science without doubt. It is when these wakjobs start using the word that part of me just starts to twitch. It is hard enough getting your average person to grasp an iota of quantum, but to add in all this woo and newage, well it is just unhealthy as that newage pile will draw mosquitoes for sure (it will bound to be just water anyway). Why can the crazies not leave things they do not understand alone, why must they poke it with their crudely formed stick? Why can they not leave us to our talk of Fermions and Bosons without having to make sure some lunatic with a very pretty crystal around his or her neck has shown up as the next expert. Is it just me or is my cynicism showing today?

Melissa said...

It's ok Cyc. I usually start twitching and growling at this stuff. I think that means your cynicism is a step up. This kind of woo really gets on my nerves. They use just enough sciency sounding words to pull in people not willing to do any research.