Sunday, April 11, 2010

Everything Is Upside Down, Down Under

When life gives you lemons, the old-timers warn,
And everything starts to look sour,
Just make lemonade! This is no time to mourn,
But a time to start "Church Happy Hour"!
From ten to eleven, on Saturday night,
Half off blood of Our Lord Jesus Christ,
Come knock off a chalice of red or of white,
While the sacrament's reasonably priced!
There are pretzels and chips at the pew, in a dish,
For the church-going Happy Hour snacker,
Or the Flesh Of Our Savior, if that is your wish,
For the folks who want more than a cracker
It's the hippest of hippest, the best place I know
Where believers can mingle or meet--
But this weekend, I'm thinking It's safer to go
To the topless church, just down the street!

The news from Australia: More crimes committed in churches than in strip clubs.
A breakdown of the figures showed that 85 people were assaulted in places of worship, compared to 66 at an adult entertainment premises.

According to the report, places of worship include churches, synagogues, monasteries, mosques, convents, cathedrals and chapels.

Premises listed under adult entertainment included strip clubs, sex shops, brothels, massage parlours, homosexual clubs, gaming houses as well as gambling clubs.

Places of worship were also ahead on sexual offences (16), theft from motor vehicles (33), resisting arrest (seven) and liquor offences (10).

Harassment and threatening behaviour at places of worship (30) was more than double that of adult entertainment (13).

Cuttlecap tip to PZ


DM said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Perhaps it's not the Church, per se,
That is the cause of crimes--
But the people who attend the church,
The ones who give it dimes.
Jesus said to love not hate
Nor ostracize, dismiss,
But the people that walk through those doors
Aren't perfect, we're amiss.
Though science proves what we can see
Faith isn't based on fiction;
Your rhymes are good my poet friend
So please excuse my diction.
There will be crimes, there will be sin
Both in the church and out,
And I won't bash your Atheist ways
Even if I am devout.
I know you don't agree with me
But all people make mistakes--
Don't disregard the other half,
The ones that are not snakes!
You need to see the larger view
Of what the Bible says:
It's not about what we don't do
But rather what Grace is.
Turn your eyes, ignore my words,
Delete this if you wish,
But God is Love, and Love is good,
My dear old Cuttlefish.

Cuttlefish said...

My dear an0nytron, I would not dream of deleting your wonderful comment! Believers are, of course, more than welcome here! I was once one, myself, you know.

So, welcome, and thanks, and I may respond more fully by and by...

Unknown said...

but you have NO ANSWER TO DEATH... therefore you FAIL...




AND THE ANSWER - NO!*ism&p=3089433#post3089433

Cuttlefish said...

Ah, but Dave/Dennis, I *do* have an answer to death.

We die. We all die.
And the ones whom we love
Won't be waiting to see us
In heaven above.
They live in our memories,
They live in our dreams,
But that's not enough
For some people, it seems.
Some people would rather
Believe in a lie
Than admit that the truth is
Life ends when you die.
More precious than diamonds,
More precious than rhyme (!!)
Our limited resource,
While living, is time.
It can't be replenished
Once over and done;
Live life to the fullest...
You only get one.

DM said...

but you have NO ANSWER TO DEATH... therefore you FAIL...





Cuttlefish said...

David/Dennis, dear...

Ignoring an answer does not make it disappear. I *do* have an answer. You, however, have a fairy tale you take out and pretend is an answer. I'm sure it's as much fun to play make-believe today as it was when you were a child, but it seems to me I read somewhere about when you become a man, you put away childish things. Oh, wait, that's from your bible! Never mind, then, feel free to ignore it.

The Ridger, FCD said...

who is it said "but unless life also hands you sugar your lemonade is going to suck"?

No answer is better than an answer that's a lie...

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