(Were you there?!)
Jesus walked upon the water! Were you there?
(Were you there?!)
Jesus walked upon the water,
Though he knew he hadn't oughter
Jesus walked upon the water! Were you there?
(Were you there?!)
Adam wandered in the garden! Were you there?
(Were you there?!)
Adam wandered in the garden! Were you there?
(Were you there?!)
Adam wandered in the garden!
Eve arrived and Adam hardened;
Adam wandered in the garden! Were you there?
(Were you there?!)
Chorus:
Jesus walked upon the water! Were you there?
(Were you there?!)
Jesus walked upon the water! Were you there?
(Were you there?!)
Jesus walked upon the water,
Though he knew he hadn't oughter
Jesus walked upon the water! Were you there?
(Were you there?!)
(Were you there?!)
Brother Noah was a boater! Were you there?
(Were you there?!)
Brother Noah was a boater,
You're descended from a floater,
Brother Noah was a boater! Were you there?
(Were you there?!)
Chorus
God burned Sodom and Gomorrah! Were you there?
(Were you there?)
God burned Sodom and Gomorrah! Were you there?
(Were you there?)
God burned Sodom and Gomorrah!
Oh, the horrah! Oh, the horrah!
God burned Sodom and Gomorrah! Were you there?
(Were you there?)
Chorus...
Comments are open for additional verses!
Cuttlecap tip to PZ, here, of course.
Posts
19 comments:
After reading PZ Myers post on this and leaving an angry post about it on my blog, I needed this laugh. Humor always keeps my brain from exploding about things like this. Thank you, a million times, thank you.
Jephthah killed his only daughter! Were you there?
(Were you there?)
Jephthah killed his only daughter! Were you there?
(Were you there?)
Jephthah killed his only daughter!
With sword and fire he did slaughter!
Jephthah killed his only daughter! Were you there?
(Were you there?)
Lot’s wife gazed upon Gomorrah! Were you there?
(Were you there?)
She turned into a salty pillar! Were you there?
(Were you there?)
Lot distraught from recent losses!
Said I know! I’ll take my daughters!
Because you know, Gomorrah would not have them! Were you there?
(Were you there?)
JC, with two loaves, five fishes! Were you there?
(Were you there?)
JC, with two loaves, five fishes! Were you there?
(Were you there?)
JC, with two loaves, five fishes
Fed a thousand - I'm suspicious!
JC, with two loaves, five fishes! Were you there?
(Were you there?)
Mary said "No man's been near it"! Were you there?
(Were you there?)
Mary said "No man's been near it"! Were you there?
(Were you there?)
Mary said "No man's been near it"!
It was just the Holy Spirit!
Mary said "No man's been near it"! Were you there?
(Were you there?)
Mary said she was a virgin. Were you there?
(Does Joseph know?)
Mary said she was a virgin. Were you there?
(Does Joseph know?)
Mary said she's still a virgin,
We couldn't stop for all her urgin'
And that's why her belly's bulgin'?
Were you there?
(...and does Joseph know?)
Moses pointed at the sea
Were you there?
(Were you there?!)
Moses pointed at the sea
Were you there?
(Were you there?!)
Moses pointed at the sea
And Pharaoh followed; mercy me!
Moses pointed at the sea
Were you there?
(Were you there?!)
-The other Tim-
Jesus' healing pow'r was total! Were you there?
(Were you there?)
Jesus' healing pow'r was total! Were you there?
(Were you there?)
Jesus' healing pow'r was total!
(Evidence is anecdotal)
Jesus' healing pow'r was total! Were you there?
(Were you there?)
Cain rose up and killed his brother! Were you there?
(Were you there?)
Cain rose up and killed his brother! Were you there?
(Were you there?)
Cain rose up and killed his brother!
Bet that sure peeved Eve (his mother)!
Cain rose up and killed his brother! Were you there?
(Were you there?)
The Holy Spirit boinked Christ's mother!
(Were you there?)
The Holy Spirit boinked Christ's mother!
(Were you there?)
Without please or thanks, the Virgin,
Fell a victim to God's urgin'!
The Holy Spirit boinked Christ's mother.
(Were you there?)
Young punks mocked Elisha's bald pate! Were you there?
(Were you there?)
Young punks mocked Elisha's bald pate! Were you there?
(Were you there?)
Young punks mocked Elisha's bald pate!
Two bears taught them not to hate!
(Were you there?)
A huge fish swallowed Jonah! Were you there?
(Were you there?)
A huge fish swallowed Jonah! Were you there?
(Were you there?)
A huge fish swallowed Jonah,
He felt all alone-a
A huge fish swallowed Jonah! Were you there?
(Were you there?)
Jesus raised a dude named Laz’rus from the dead! Were you there?
(Were you there?)
Jesus raised a dude named Laz’rus from the dead! Were you there?
(Were you there?)
Jesus raised a dude name Laz’rus, who for days had stunk the place up;
Jesus raised a dude named Laz’rus from the dead. Were you there?
(Were you there?)
Three women waited at the grave. Were you there?
(Were you there?)
Two women waited at the grave. Were you there?
(Were you there?)
Five women waited at the grave...
I just can't get my story straight!
What'd they see and what'd they say?
Where you there?
(Where you there?)
Where you there?
Help me out here. I take it there's a tune that goes with this, but I can't place it.
I'm feeling unfulfilled . . .
Physicalist--
There are probably many tunes that work; the one I think of is "she'll be comin' 'round the mountain".
My guess is that other people may be using other tunes.
Thank you!
Now I feel fulfilled. (He said with a smile on his face.)
Cuttlefish: Awesome work. Brings out the Appalachian in me, even if I live in Australia.
Smoggy: Your absence on Pharyngula is noted. Why so long?
Saul slew the Amalekites! Were you there?
(Were you there?)
Saul slew the Amalekites! Were you there?
(Where you there?)
Saul slew the Amalekites!
T'was good and just in God's eyes!
Saul slew the Amalekites! Where you there?
(Where you there?)
I could do this all day.
...
God sent mana from heaven! Where you there?
(Where you there?)
God sent mana from heaven! Where you there?
(Where you there?)
God sent mana from heaven!
To keep the Jews from starv'n!
God sent mana from heaven! Where you there?
(Where you there?)
Water from stone for Moses! Where you there?
(Where you there?)
Water from stone for Moses! Where you there?
(Where you there?)
Water from stone for Moses!
Without no entombed hoses!
Water from stone for Moses! Where you there?
(Where you there?)
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