You can learn "facilitation"
Through our public presentation;
You don't need to be a doctor with a medical degree!
Pills or needles? We don't want 'em
What we're doing here is quantum—
You can learn to be an expert, if you've got the weekend free
We’re not scandalous or shady—
Why, just listen to this lady
Who was cured of emphysema in three-quarters of an hour
Sure, at first it rather shocked her
That I’m not a licensed doctor
But in under fifty minutes I’d convinced her of my power
Proper med school is so grueling,
But there’s no real need of schooling
If you follow my instructions, and the methods I have found
Raise your arms up to the ceiling,
Say “it’s time to start the healing”
And for roughly half an hour, simply wave your hands around.
Cuttlecap tip to PZ, of course.