Give God A Mop

Omniscient God must need a nudge
To see the oil, the tar, the sludge—
Or Father, Son, and Holy Ghost
Don’t give a damn about the coast.

State senators proclaim this day
A time to join our hands and pray
Since “nothing works”, that’s what we’ll try—
We’ll all do nothing, you and I.

We’ll act as if the problem’s solved
By simply getting God involved,
And feel as if we played a part
By doing squat, with all our heart.

And as for those whose faith is weak,
Who clean the beaches, while we speak
With God? We know, and time will tell,
That God will send them straight to hell

So drop your shovels, drop your bags,
Your pelicans and soapy rags—
Acknowledge God is in control
And save the beach… and save your soul!

Or

Know that God does not exist;
Won’t help us if His Ass gets kissed
So leave the senators to shirk,
Roll up your sleeves, and get to work.


Cuttlecap tip to PZ, of course.