The Digital Pack-Rat, vol. 9

All the xmas verses that got away--starting with a response to a youtube clip of ignorant buffoons pontificating on how the true meaning of christmas was being destroyed by having other belief systems ... basically, do what christianity had done in its turn.

I do not think highly of Mr. O'Reilly
(That's fine--he can do that himself)

And Gretchen's kvetchin' just pure leaves me retchin'

My guts out, the bleached little elf.

They do love the season, but don't know the reason

Their holiday comes in December

It was stolen from Norse, and from Romans, of course,

But these "journalists" must not remember.

These pinheads demand, but the Puritans banned

The observance of Christmas, you know:

True Christians could see that a creche or a tree

Was improper, and really should go!

So Gretchen and Billo, go purchase some brillo

And use it to polish your brains

So that maybe next year we can live without fear

Of your ignorant, selfish refrains.


As part of that continuing saga, you may recall, the (horrible, deplorable, sacrilegious, whatever) sign that the atheists put up beside the creche... was stolen! And yes, I stole the melody.

They came upon a midnight clear
Unto the Olympia Square
The night disguised them while they took
The sign the godless put there:
"It is our wish this Solstice time
That reason should prevail"
With hardened hearts and minds enslaved
The thieves may land in jail.

Still, tis the season to forgive;
To turn the other cheek.
Let's hope they've learned their lesson if
It's wisdom that they seek:
"Be kind unto your fellow man;
Treat them as you'd have them treat you"
There's room for you in the public square
But only if others fit, too.

The right to different views is where
The strength of our nation abides
The First Amendment makes it clear
The government cannot take sides;
The tyranny of majority
May change with the whim of the day
And someday you may need it too--
Don't throw your rights away.


My last (I hope) comment on this particular silly nonsense. This year, at least:

The traditional creche, to my thinking, is fine;
I won't mess with theirs if they don't mess with mine.
Not even the one at my town's public square
So long as my own has an equal place there.
If you want the display to be yours, and yours only,
Then keep it at home; hope you like being lonely.
Or join with the rest of us--come and have fun,
If you want a real party... invite every one!

Another in the long line of back-and-forth regarding the Cinci Zoo and FantasyGodLand or whatever it was called...

I'm looking for some funding; gonna open up a zoo
With cages of creationists, all blithely flinging poo
They're much more fun than pandas--much more active in their cages
With a longer line on Sundays, when they all sing "Rock of Ages"
The children love to point and laugh--they say "Hey look! They're praying!"
And when they talk, you almost feel they know what they are saying
But clearly it's just gibberish, not language like a man's;
(It shows itself--in transcripts, it comes out in comic sans!)

And lastly (this time, anyway), a response to an editorial. This year is Darwin Year, but sadly, it seems that some of those who will speak at Darwin Year events are (gasp!) atheists! Why can't those militant atheists be more like, say, Darwin himself, and act like the second-class citizens they are? Won't somebody think of the children!

I thought I saw an atheist, who dared to speak aloud,
Who did not meekly bow his head--oh, no, this man was proud!
Who, rather than--like Darwin--hold his tongue and keep his place,
Demanded equal membership among the human race!

I thought I saw an atheist--a scientist, as well--
Who dared to mention Darwin in the stories he would tell!
Whose glib association with the noble Darwin name
Would tar it with comparison to atheistic shame!

I thought I saw an atheist who read what Darwin wrote,
Who did not have agenda or religion to promote,
Who, on this anniversary, will stand in line to thank
A man who saw a view of life inside a tangled bank.