Thursday, January 22, 2009

Bananaman! (the song)

Ok, so, over on Pharyngula, PZ reported on Ray Comfort's latest folly. Ray--who will go waaaay down in history for the creationist argument by banana--has a new site out. The comment thread called him "bananaman" (ok, no great stretch, as PZ's title called him "the banana man"), which immediately activated whatever part of my brain it is that does this sort of stuff.

Anyway, my comment over there did not relieve the pressure sufficiently; I had to write the following. My apologies to Billy Joel, and to pretty much everybody else. Except Ray Comfort.


It's an afternoon post on Pharyngula,
The regular crowd shuffles in
There's a pretty good chance that some troll will come dance
And remind us we're living in sin

He’ll say “Darwin is worshipped by Atheists”
He’s not really sure what that means
But he knows that you’ll find that the world was designed,
That designers made all of our genes

La la la, de de da
La la, de de da da da

Tell us a lie, you're Bananaman,
Tell us a lie, or two
Cos we're all in the mood for a belly-laugh
And you've got us laughing at you!

PZ is the host and proprietor,
So you know that there's pretty good odds
You'll see shocking opinions, both his and his minions'
And probably cephalopods

He says look at that beautiful octopus
And this shot of a sensuous squid
Though he won’t claim a fetish for things that are wettish
You wouldn’t be shocked if he did

La la la, de de da
La la, de de da da da

Tell us a lie, you're Bananaman,
Tell us a lie, or two
Cos we're all in the mood for a belly-laugh
And you've got us laughing at you!

Now Ray is a young-earth creationist
Who never had time for a life
And he wonders if maybe, he might have a baby,
If he could evolve him a wife.

And the Minions are arguing politics
As the Mollies are howling for beer
It’s a strange sort of virtual community
But it doesn’t get better than here

La la la, de de da
La la, de de da da da

Tell us a lie, you're Bananaman,
Tell us a lie, or two
Cos we're all in the mood for a belly-laugh
And you've got us laughing at you!

It’s a pretty good post for Pharyngula
It’s got science, and politics too
Cos there isn’t much quite like an internet fight
If you’ve got nothing better to do.

And the internet reeks of stupidity
And the blogosphere's chock-full of dumb,
And I stare at my screen, and ask "what do they mean?",
And then drink till my feelings are numb.

La la la, de de da
La la, de de da da da

Tell us a lie, you're Bananaman,
Tell us a lie, or two
Cos we're all in the mood for a belly-laugh
And you've got us laughing at you!

8 comments:

CyberLizard said...

ROFL LMAO! Dude, your skillz are teh bomb! Seriously, that was one of the funniest thing I've read lately.

The Ridger, FCD said...

Cuttle is made of WIN.

Cuttlefish said...

Not today, friend Ridger... but thank you, both of you.

Unknown said...

See, here's the difference between talent and mere obsessiveness. I saw that post and had the song in my head as an earworm for a day. You took it and made something hilarious.

My hat is off to you, again.

AJM said...

(Holds lighter aloft...)

normdoering said...

Find a piano player and a singer and put it on youtube with pictures of Ray and his banana.

Brine Queen said...

WIN!!1! That really, really needs to be recorded.

Cuttlefish said...

Anyone who wants, please feel free to record it; clearly, though, I would not be able to find a singer and retain my cuttlefishy anonymity.