Saturday, March 01, 2008

My New Favorite Beauty Pageant

In the news today... Last weekend saw the 63rd Annual National Outdoor Show, complete with beauty pageant and muskrat-skinning competitions. This year, both competitions were won by the same girl, 16 year old Dakota Abbot, a lovely brunette who skinned two muskrats in one minute, forty-two seconds. The runner-up in the pageant, Samantha Phillips, did win the talent competition with her muskrat-skinning exhibition (the talent portion of the pageant is separate from the muskrat-skinning competition; Miss Abbott sang for her talent portion).

I'd quote from the Washington Post article, but every word is worth reading, so go read! In addition, there is an audiovisual montage that is wonderfully put together. The last picture features the winner, resplendent in her white evening gown, posing happily with a dead muskrat slung over her shoulder.

Beautiful.

She’s not the average beauty queen
She’s so much more than that
She’s beautiful, she’s talented,
And she can skin a ‘rat.

The beauty crowned as “Miss Outdoors”
Has got a winning smile
But more than this, this pretty Miss
Has got a skinning style.

She’s gorgeous in an evening gown
Or waders, caked with mud;
Red polish on her fingernails
(It helps to hide the blood)

Dakota Abbott won, this year,
Both Pageant Queen and skinner;
Miss Universe, I’ll bet, will never
See that in a winner.

It's easily the coolest pageant
I have ever seen--
Congratulations to Miss Abbot,
Lovely Muskrat Queen!

7 comments:

EcoGeoFemme said...

Wow! That a serious crown!

Cuttlefish said...

It is indeed... and I dare anyone to try to take it from her!

uphilldowndale said...

And I thought I was a country girl, I know nothing!

Cuttlefish said...

You have a beautiful blog, uhdd!

Table Mountains said...

they just don't make gals like that anymore. sigh...!

Jake's Razor said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Verndale said...

I literally laughed and cried (the good kind, not in despair) within 20 minutes this morning after reading your takes on the human condition. I cried realizing we are all see the world through our own colored glasses. These young women in the pageant know they are seeing the world from their perspective, and that the world sees them this way, and they embrace it.

The laugh came with your “Spirit willing, flesh too flaccid” line in the following post. I mean, I’ve heard of that happening to other men anyway.