Cuttlefish!

Ah... XKCD has done it again!
(and of course my formatting screws it up--click image for the full comic!)




A cuttlefish learns, so amazing quickly,
And oh so incredibly much—
We’ve figured out chemistry, quantum mechanics,
Biology, Physics, and such;
We could, if we chose to, go traipsing through wormholes
To galaxies light-years away;
But frankly, there’s something more baffling to study,
And that’s why we’ve chosen to stay.

These rather unusual featherless bipeds,
So noisy, so smelly, so strange—
It seems they can learn, or at least they respond
To contingencies which we arrange.
They learn rather slowly, it must be admitted;
It could be their brains are quite small.
And given their habits, the evidence tells us
Some probably don’t learn at all.

They somehow invented some horrible weapons
Which all thinking beings should fear
They constantly threaten complete devastation—
I’m rather surprised they’re still here!
They keep dumping poison in lakes or in rivers
Where others get water to drink—
Although this is senseless, and foolish, and stupid,
I still believe some of them think.

They’ve hit upon something that multiplies thinking,
A process they like to call “science”,
Where each person builds on the other ones’ progress
Like standing on shoulders of giants.
Some say these “humans” are smarter than cuttlefish;
I won’t be taking that bet!
But maybe—just maybe—with science to help them,
These humans… they might make it yet.

A Blood-Curdling Cautionary Tale Of Science Run Amok

Genetically, of course, a spork
Is half a spoon, and half a fork
A laboratory in New York
Created them, then popped the cork.

Please, gentle reader, do not swoon,
But there was also, once, a foon
(That’s half a fork, and half a spoon)
Created, sadly, all too soon.

In cutlery, one tempts the Fates
When artificially, one mates
Utensils from across the plates
Regardless of recessive traits.

A careless thought: “let’s cross F-1
Again with forks, and have some fun.”
The simple plan was soon begun,
Then all too soon: “What have we done?”

With thirst for blood and killing drives
Such meddling ends in loss of lives
I only hope someone survives
To tell—the sporks have found the knives!



From xkcd, of course.

I just love XKCD!

I want to make peace with my laptop computer;
I think that its feelings were hurt.
It read what I wrote--at least, that's what I figure;
Since then, it's been rather more curt.
It's dialogue boxes are monosyllabic,
I swear it's beginning to pout.
Now I'm thinking that, maybe, it's bored in that box,
So I'm working on letting it out.

I wired a handful of microcontrollers,
Some batteries, bearings, and wheels,
A webcam for eyes, so it sees where it's going
And doesn't fall, head over heels.
It's programmed, of course, not to run into objects
While making its way 'cross the floors,
And it talks to my house's security system
And opens and closes the doors!

Now it sneaks out and wanders all over the city--
I follow its progress online.
It's posting its story, and streaming its cam
On a blog that gets more hits than mine.
It asked me last week for a solar recharger--
I found it a small one to add;
This morning, I woke to a note in the printer:
"I'm off to adventure! Thanks, Dad!"



Inspired by the inimitable XKCD, in case you are the last person not to know about it.