Sunday, August 23, 2009

Holy Insulation, Governor!

Wait. I thought it was Pat Robertson's prayers that kept Florida safe from hurricanes. According to PZ, though, it is really the work of the Governor. Well, it's his job, I guess. Which he does by sending prayer scrolls to Israel to have them stuffed into the cracks of the Western Wall in Jerusalem. Seriously.

The stuffing of scrolls
Into cracks, clefts, and holes,
Like the layering of plaster on lath,
Blocks the passage of wind,
And (for those who have sinned)
Even stands in the way of God’s wrath.

The hurricane season
Robs people of reason,
Replacing it, mostly, with fear;
The strange become stranger—
Thank god that the danger
Lasts only for three months a year!

The far bigger threat
Are the people who bet
They’ll win votes, or donations of money
Playing kiss-ass with god
For the public. It’s odd,
And it’s more than a little bit funny.

The Florida weather
Brings people together
To mutter a terrified prayer
Whenever they mention
Divine intervention
You know it’s a lot of hot air.


Benjamin Geiger said...

Great poem, as always.

One minor nit to pick: hurricane season is six months, not three. (It starts on 1 June and runs through 31 November.)

Cuttlefish said...


I could pretend that I knew that, and meant it as a joke, but the truth is that I quickly googled to make sure, and looked at a site which A) I can no longer find, and B) was perhaps the only one which got the number wrong. "Strange", thought I, "I could have sworn it was longer", but who was I to second guess the authority of some anonymous website that a search engine happened to show me?

I shall leave the mistake, and your correction, to keep me humble.

Monado said...

DC, the last three lines have a lovely Ogden Nash ring to them!