Sunday, August 30, 2009

Atheists Over-Consuming, Says Man On Gold Throne

Some priests take vows: stability,
Obedience, and chastity,
Some take a vow of poverty,
And then, there is The Pope.
Some give up almost every thing
That modern life can surely bring
But look upon that Papal Ring
With lust, or greed, or hope.

They gladly take authority,
Relieving folks like you or me
From any need to think, you see,
Then listen to our sins.
To hear some girl or boy confess
How lust has made their life a mess
Brings fullness to a priestly dress
The minute it begins

"I've coveted my neighbor's ass,
When, such a lovely little lass,
She dressed right by the window glass--
It's quite a frequent bother!"
If it were not for fear of God
And Satan's massive cattle prod
I swear a priest would shoot his wad
With every "Bless me, Father..."

And now the Pope, on throne of gold,
Decides to blame, so we are told,
His enemy from days of old--
The folks who don't believe--
For lust for power, ego, greed,
For taking more that what they need
Rejecting his ascetic creed
And giving earth the heave.

He has the gall to preach restraint
And act the part of slighted saint;
I have to tell myself, "how quaint!
He acts as if we care!"
Surrounded by his gold and jewels,
Pontificating papal rules
To sycophants and silly fools...
Humanity, beware!

Perhaps restraint is what you want if
You are going to say this, Pontiff--
Seems a bit too nonchalant, ef-
fusing thoughts like these,
Ensconced in your luxurious palace,
Sipping from your golden chalice
It frankly, Ratzi, feels like malice:
Authority? Oh, please.

Cuttlecap tip: PZ.


george.w said...

doG, you are awesome Cuttlefish.

"Do whatever steps you want if
You have cleared them with the pontiff,
Bow your head with great respect and...
Genuflect! Genuflect! Genuflect! Genuflect!..."
- Tom Lehrer

Thinker said...

When I visited the Vatican a few years ago, I was genuinely shocked at how the ostentatious show of wealth was used not to promote the so-called “Message of Jesus” (love thy neighbor, turn the other cheek, forgive those who do wrong and all that), but to glorify the men who claim to be his followers. The marble and gold in plaques and statues tried to immortalize popes, cardinals and bishops, but in such a desperate way that it just came across as tacky. (I got the impression they must have realized that this world is the only one we have, and thus what matters is the legacy we leave behind here.)

The most ridiculous thing was in the floor of St. Peter’s: there were marks and plaques showing how long other cathedrals (St. Paul’s in London, Notre Dame in Paris etc.) would be if they were placed inside this one; all, of course, were smaller. To us, it was as adolescent as a penis-measuring contest in a junior high locker room: “Ha, ha – yours is much shorter than mine!”

Though not a catholic, I was angered at how the wealth of the church was misused. That anger came back today, when I read about Ratzi’s hypocritical attempt to vilify nonbelievers. My knee-jerk reaction, I’m afraid, was as juvenile as the marks in his basilica:

To be believed, you can’t just squawk
Some righteous words unto your flock,
You also have to “walk the talk”,
If not, you’re a buffoon.
My crude response would sink as low
As what we’ve heard from Papa Joe.
Though members of the cloth may grow
I’d turn around and moon!