The Ballad Of The Birthers

So Barack Hussein Obama
With his Papa and his Mama
Were in Kenya to experience the miracle of birth
And the bouncing baby's bounce meant
Time to send a fake announcement
To a paper in Hawaii, on the other side of Earth

Cos the birthers know that when ya
Have a baby born in Kenya
Why, his options there are limited--not much he might achieve--
And it's quite a common caper
Calling up a foreign paper
After all, we know that journalists are easy to deceive!

They can't prove he's not Hawaiian
But it's not for lack of tryin'
As investigators scurry for the tiniest of clues
With The Donald's cash behind 'em
There's no reason to remind 'em
And no feather-brained conspiracy republicans can't use

'Mongst the birthers, it is fabled
That his DNA is labeled
"Made in Kenya" and a microscope would set the record straight
He could set a good example
If he offered up a sample
But he'll likely be unreasonable and make the birthers wait

Not to call them prejudicial
But the process is official:
If it says that he's American, that document's a lie.
Every birther clearly knows it
So there must be one that shows it
And with diligent persistence, they will find it by and by


Why on earth would CNN feel the need to run an investigation at this point? Any sane human being already knows, and at least one of the insane human beings "takes the president at his word" (trying to have it both ways). Who could possibly remain unconvinced? Who could possibly be so dense?

Oh. 47% of Republicans, nationwide.