Thursday, March 03, 2011

Go U (Kinky) Northwestern!

Dear Mom, You were saying you missed me a lot
And were hoping that maybe I’d write—
But my classes were boring, and really there’s not
Much to write about … up till last night.

When a guest gives a talk for psychology class
On a topic that’s really complex
It’s often a genuine pain in the ass
But for our class, the topic is sex!

So, Hail to the Purple!
I’m swollen with pride,
The love for my school
Leaves me tingly inside.
And Go, U Northwestern!
Hit hard and hit low!
It’s sex education,
So on with the show!


The subject this evening was sexual response
And it featured a live demonstration
(With such a large audience, such nonchalance!)
Of a power-assist masturbation!

The guest presentation was simply displayed—
Just a towel on the stage set the scene
And a sawzall, with dildo instead of a blade,
Creating a fucking machine.

So, Hail to the Purple!
I’m swollen with pride,
The love for my school
Leaves me tingly inside.
And Go, U Northwestern!
Hit hard and hit low!
It’s sex education,
So on with the show!


The students were warned—they were over eighteen,
They were able to leave if they wanted.
But none were offended by what they had seen
Or the action the class had confronted

But now, a week later, the class hits the news
And we’re playing the media game.
And I hope we can hear the presenter enthuse:
“All in all, I’m just glad that I came.”

So, Hail to the Purple!
I’m swollen with pride,
The love for my school
Leaves me tingly inside.
And Go, U Northwestern!
Hit hard and hit low!
It’s sex education,
So on with the show!


Professor Bailey's Human Sexuality class is, by all accounts, very popular, with nearly 600 students enrolled in a given semester. One reason for the popularity, it appears, is the optional add-on lectures, discussions, and demonstrations, which give the students exposure to a bit more than a textbook provides. Professor Bailey's description of the class makes it clear that these add-ons are an important part of his course--including the now-contraversial add-on of February 21st.

Of course, once the story hits the news, Northwestern President Morton Schapiro has no choice, politially, but to be "troubled" by reports of the evening. The Daily Beast reports that Northwestern is defending Bailey, but it looks like it will be difficult to please everybody in this case.

I seriously considered quoting from each of these sources, but instead I'll just say that this story is worth clicking through and reading. I guarantee something like this would get me fired at Cuttlefish U.

I don't know if that's a good or a bad thing.

4 comments:

mike janowski said...

He has no choice but to be "troubled"? Whatever happened to guts in this country. Tell the media to go fuck themselves...

Bob in Key West said...

...which is why you'll never be a University president, Mike.

Dennis Kay said...

All in all, Master Bob in Key West has a sphincter like most of our society ....one couldn't slide a left over pubic hair into it.

luna-the-cat said...

You know, I don't comment here much (or at all), so I just thought I would drop a quick note of appreciation in. This place NEVER fails to bring a much-welcome grin to my bitter and jaded face. :¬D

(Side note: my word verification for this is "verse". How do you DO that?)