If I were the devil, the next thing I'd do...
Seems that there is quite a lot that can be explained about the relationships among differing faith communities, if you simply apply the Flip Wilson defense: "The Devil made me do it!"
My first take was yesterday's post:
If I were the devil, the first thing I’d do
(I’d be subtle, and not too apparent)
Is create holy writings that all disagree
And announce that each one is inerrant.
If I were the devil, the next thing I’d do
(as if the first wasn’t sufficient)
is to claim god is always benevolent
and almighty, as well as omniscient.
If I were the devil, the third thing I'd do
(when the first two had ceased to delight)
Is to find two opponents, with two different views,
And privately tell each: "you're right".
Ring Tailed Lemurian added
If I were the devil, the fourth thing I'd do
(because I'd be evil and love to start wars)
is to find a tribe near some inhabited land
and tell them "It's holy to me, and it's yours".
If I were the devil, the fifth thing I’d do
(after four, I’m becoming quite nimble)
is to tell one group “Here, eat the meat of God’s Son”
and another “The wafer’s a symbol”.
He then observed, quite correctly, "this is fun!"
So go ahead! Pick any number you like, or use "the next thing", and have fun!
If I were the devil, the next thing I'd do
(As we make our way up to infinity)
Is tell one group that Jesus is simply a prophet,
And others he's part of The Trinity
Of course, you can write about other topics than conflicts in religious doctrine. Once you get the devil involved, everything makes more sense!
If I were the devil, one more thing I'd do
(cos I work in mysterious ways)
Is to make fundamentalist homophobes preachers
Disclose they are closeted gays