And everything starts to look sour,
Just make lemonade! This is no time to mourn,
But a time to start "Church Happy Hour"!
From ten to eleven, on Saturday night,
Half off blood of Our Lord Jesus Christ,
Come knock off a chalice of red or of white,
While the sacrament's reasonably priced!
There are pretzels and chips at the pew, in a dish,
For the church-going Happy Hour snacker,
Or the Flesh Of Our Savior, if that is your wish,
For the folks who want more than a cracker
It's the hippest of hippest, the best place I know
Where believers can mingle or meet--
But this weekend, I'm thinking It's safer to go
To the topless church, just down the street!
The news from Australia: More crimes committed in churches than in strip clubs.
A breakdown of the figures showed that 85 people were assaulted in places of worship, compared to 66 at an adult entertainment premises.
According to the report, places of worship include churches, synagogues, monasteries, mosques, convents, cathedrals and chapels.
Premises listed under adult entertainment included strip clubs, sex shops, brothels, massage parlours, homosexual clubs, gaming houses as well as gambling clubs.
Places of worship were also ahead on sexual offences (16), theft from motor vehicles (33), resisting arrest (seven) and liquor offences (10).
Harassment and threatening behaviour at places of worship (30) was more than double that of adult entertainment (13).
Cuttlecap tip to PZ