Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Version 2.7

The "cognitive daily" blog asks: Will humans marry robots in 50 years?

Linky.

She’s my little bit of heaven, even better than real life,
She’s the version 2.7 motor-actuated wife.
When I come home from the office, she’s a sympathetic ear,
With the faintest scent of silicone I catch as we draw near.
“Here, let me take your papers, Hon, and let me rub your back;
You must have had a stressful day—come on, let’s hit the sack.”
Her lips are warm and supple, with a kiss that shows desire—
A brilliant application of a bit of memory wire.
She trembles gently at my touch, as strain-gauge sensors feel,
And as she starts to moan and gasp, you’d swear that she was real.
But she’s better than a flesh-and-blood—For one thing, she has codes
Allowing me to choose from seventeen vibration modes!
She never has a headache; there’s no in-laws to avoid;
Heck, I’ve never even had the need to change a solenoid!
She’s my little bit of heaven, even better than real life,
She’s the version 2.7 motor-actuated wife.

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6 comments:

CAE said...

Dude, your poems rock, but I think your posts would be better if they linked directly to the article that inspired them, rather than making us cut and paste! This might help.

cuttlefish said...

Thanks for the tip!

CAE said...

No problemo! Now I don't have to press, like, two whole keys AND use my mouse.

holydust said...

Wow, Sir Cuttlefish. Brilliantly comedic AND sexy. Did you intend the sexy part? Because it's sexy.

Maybe I'm just horribly depraved. :3

Interrobang said...

Best of all, robotic spouses don't produce children or ask you to. (Where do I sign up?)

John Scanlon said...

By chance I started reading this with the tune of TMBG's "Im a Paleontologist" and it fits very well, but wants a chorus.

"I'm a roboteroticist
that's what I am
that's what I am
that's what I am..."