Friday, January 23, 2009

Good-Bye, Old Friend

I hope we did what’s best for you
I know, at least, we tried.
I took you to the doctor
And I stayed there at your side;
I talked with you for one last time
Then held you as you died.
I kissed your head, and said good-bye
And cried
And cried
And cried.

I'm still crying.  Dogs are fur-covered unconditional love; it should hurt when you say good-bye.

I was going to post a picture, but I can't bring myself to do it.

Good-bye, old friend.

edit--regular readers may recall that I last wrote of her this past Thanksgiving.


AnthonyB said...

The right thing to do.
The last way to show your love.
Hard to be humane.

I've been there before with two different cats. One of them was still a kitten which was pretty difficult to get through.

Keep crying. It will help.

pgelliott said...

My thoughts are with you. I hope it is a long time before I have to say goodbye to my bulldog.

Cuttlefish said...

Thank you, Anthony; thank you, Philip.

Laurie said...

I'm so sorry. I've been in exactly the same place. It's been seven years and I still haven't been able to bring myself to get another dog.

Cuttlefish said...

Thank you, Laurie.

Cuttlespouse (in streams of tears) is already sending me links from the local humane society. People grieve differently.

CyberLizard said...

I feel your pain. I still have a photo of my little Fuzzy on my desk, 6 years later.

Christian Walters said...

Really sorry, DC.

I hope it helps knowing there are people who understand. I went through this with Vandal not quite two years ago. It's hard to lose something that will hang with you no matter what for just some food, some exercise, and all the attention it can demand.

Now I look at our other two dogs, who are both long past the time where we can pretend they aren't going gray. Still healthy, still happy. Not quite as quick up the stairs, not quite the terror of any squirrels who wander into the yard any more.

We just picked up a stray a couple of weeks ago, just days before a cold blast that he couldn't have survived on his own. We're suckers that way. He was a little underfed, and he has heartworms.

But he is a good reminder that a lot of dogs have it bad. If a dog could pick how it would go, it would probably pick choking on the bones of that goddamn cat always hiding in our bushes. But second on the list would be to go warm, and fed, and dry, and surrounded by family.

Good luck to you, DC.

Cuttlefish said...

Thanks, C-lizard, and thanks, Man--

For the record, both Fuzzy and Vandal are great names.

The Ridger, FCD said...

So sorry, Cuttle. Haven't had to do it with a dog, yet - they've just died in their sleep - but two cats now. It hurts.

Cuttlefish said...

Thank you, friend Ridger.

My last was my cat... my cat. Yes, it hurts.

In both cases, though, it was clearly the right time. I am very fortunate that my pets have lived long lives with me. Which, of course, means that they will necessarily rip my heart out when they go. In balance, it is a good thing.

mandydax said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. :( I'm afraid one of my cats is getting there. I can only hope I'm wrong.

Cuttlefish said...

Thank you, Mandydax..

Give your cat a scratch behind the ears for me.

Melissa Gay Art said...

I'm so sorry about your furred friend. It is never easy! I'm so glad you were there for him all the way.

Cuttlefish said...

Thanks, Perks!

Lab Boy said...

I'm so sorry to hear this, Cuttlefish. We had to do the same thing on Wednesday. Your verse expresses what I wanted to say just about perfectly. I'd love to see a picture when you're ready.

It's hard to do the right thing. It hurts.

Our thoughts are with the Cuttlefamily.

Cuttlefish said...

Thank you, Lab Boy.

Very helpful words, those were.

george.w said...

I cried when I read this. If it helps to know, your friend certainly enjoyed your love as much as you did hers.

(Looks over at aging cat, sweet friend, wonders how many days are left)

Cuttlefish said...

Thank you, George--give kitty a little chuck under the chin for me.

Ása Johannesen said...

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear about your dog. You made me cry too, damnit! I know what it's like, so I feel for you and the Cuttlespouse.

Larry Hamelin said...

I'm sorry for your loss. I've been in the same boat myself.

Mad Marley Grey said...

Oh, no no no. I knew who you were referring to as soon as I started reading. And now I have to reach over and scratch my dog, and maybe cry a little myself.

We lost the oldest horse at my barn a few months ago. Wasn't mine, but I rode him off and on for years. I was the first person they called. And then I wandered the house in such hysterics my family was afraid one of our animals must have died... I knew it was going to happen eventually, but... Doesn't make it any easier, does it.

Blake Stacey said...


Anonymous said...

Let me know if you need a chat, again. And hug hug hug hug hug.

Cath@VWXYNot? said...

Just catching up... I'm so sorry.