Oh, Ye Of Little Faith!

PZ writes of a fascinating fossil find... A pair of footprints, one overlapping the other, left by a human and a theropod respectively. The fossil is... not terribly convincing.

But, of course, there are creationists touting it as the real deal, and as evidence that humans and dinosaurs walked the earth together, just like in that documentary. You know, the one with Fred and Wilma, I forget the name.

Anyway, it seems odd to me that the people who are supposed to have the most faith are the ones going out of their way to manufacture "evidence" so that they will not have to rely on faith. But I should be used to that by now.

I was thinking, though... what if the fossil really is the work of god? Fossils have been seen as a test of faith, placed there by god to see if we will still believe; what if this transparent fake is actually the work of god, placed there as a test of intellect?

The tracks of Man and Theropod
Were planted, by a playful God
To test the use of Human minds
Confronted with such puzzling finds.

The first upon Jehovah's list
To see it, a Creationist;
He swallowed hook, and line, and sinker,
Showing God he was no thinker.

The second looked, and laughed and laughed
To see the shoddiness of craft;
His open eyes would not be guiled,
And God looked down and simply smiled.

The third to look was just a boy
Who looked at it with open joy
And thought "that looks like so much fun,
I'll try to make another one!"

When even children plainly see
A fake, it is no mystery;
But as we grow, we often find
Some choose a path that leaves them blind.

And it should come as no surprise
They trust their faith, and not their eyes;
And will not hear if you explain
That--maybe--God prefers the brain.

The Modest Agnostic, In One Minute!

Wow!

Faster than I read it--maybe even faster than I am able to read it! Another stunning performance by The Modest Agnostic. Thank you for, as always, making me sound better than I actually am!

All This Over Ritual Cannibalism?

Wow. Much Ado About A Wafer. Who'd have thunk that this story had legs? As mild as this could have been, I suppose that if you piss off enough people, a number of them will react badly. As many have commented, the law cannot possibly take the side of the church in this case without setting a nasty precedent. Support one religion, and where does it end?


P. Z. Meyers’ bad behavior toward the body of Our Savior
Is at minimum appalling, and it’s blasphemy at most!
This is more than merely naughty—this is Christ Almighty’s Body—
There’s a special place in Hell for those who desecrate the Host!

Dr. Meyers would be safer if he just ignored the wafer;
‘Cos the Prince Of Peace has followers who will not mess around.
There’s no blogger, nerd, or hacker who can simply steal a cracker—
These are people who have re-defined the phrase “too tightly wound”.

Now it’s more than merely prattle, it’s a First Amendment battle;
Can the Catholics demand the recognition of their views?
And if transubstantiation is supported by the nation
Will the other faith communities each, likewise, get to choose?

When you lean toward theocratic, it is far from automatic
That the legal recognition of your rituals will follow—
If our goal is “not offending”, then the list is never-ending,
And the spectrum of religions is too big a bite to swallow.

If the nation acts as proxy for one form of orthodoxy
Then the other True Believers could be truly in a lurch;
But our brilliant founding fathers saw through this and other bothers
And decided to prohibit the endorsement of one church.

If believers were offended, that’s what Myers had intended—
While it may not be polite, he has the right to be a jerk;
It’s the nation’s Constitution that prevents his prosecution,
Sure, it’s not the Holy Bible, but it kinda seems to work.

Where In The World Now?

Just an octopus, happy, at play

Then we zoom out (we know that we may)

And it seems that the odds

Say that cephalopods

Are involved in the Last Judgment Day

(Took these pics today. Can you guess?)

But No Sign Of Aliens?

It's out of this world! And so very nice,
In the barrens of Mars, to have dug up some ice!
My prediction today? That intrepid explorers
Will soon find the signs of some Naked Ice Borers!

Friday Limericks--Greece!

This is not the only country on my trip, but I am certainly glad it is one of them! I have wanted to go to Greece since... I think my first presentation on the Parthenon in 4th grade, or maybe earlier, reading the children's versions of Greek mythology. Of course, ignorance being what it is, I have had quite a learning experience here. As someone (Between Mark Twain, Ben Franklin, and Will Rogers, there is a 99% chance of one of them having said just about anything) is alleged to have once said, "it's not what you don't know that gets you in trouble, it's what you do know, that ain't so". I have such vast quantities of both categories here that it would be tough to say which wins out.

But anyway, it is Friday the 13th and I have had a wonderful day. So the Friday Limerick topic is Greece--broadly defined.

There once was a lady from Hellas
Quite a favorite with all of the fellas
From them all, she chose one,
But was having such fun
With the rest, that she just wouldn't tellas


There once was a Byzantine Monk
In a bit of a Byzantine funk
So he took his small flock
To the top of a rock
Where he thunk, and he thunk, and he thunk
[imagine a photo of a Meteora monastery here. I will edit it in when I have bandwidth to load it.]

It's slimy, yet furry and squeaky;
I think you'll agree that it's freaky;
But beyond all dispute
Is the fact that it's cute--
And I found it in Thessaloniki!

(this one is worth clicking on--it's just so cute!)

Never A Good Sign

It should make you worry when you
Find your cousin on the menu
At a pleasant Greek Taverna at the Galaxidi shore
It was Greece--so I was fated
Once I'd eaten, and was sated,
To be punished by Poseidon like I never was before
We were looking at the ocean
When there came a funny motion
Just a little instability I felt beneath my feet
Then the sidewalk started moving
Like the gods themselves were proving
We were just a little early when we called them obsolete

We had traveled through the epicenter town about 2-3 hours before the earthquake hit. The photo above is indeed from the Taverna in Galaxidi where we had just eaten when the sidewalks started imitating the ocean.

Where In The World Is The Digital Cuttlefish?

I am wand'ring the earth, to its ends
But I feel that I must make amends
While I've traveled, I fear
I've neglected you here--
So a picture, or two, of some friends!

(I took these just a couple of days ago...)

Thank you all for your wishes and greetings; I have a bit of forced downtime today on a bus ride, so I may have time to compose something... or maybe to sleep, perchance to dream...

And A Fishy On The Trunk

Anna Lemma reports (and has been for some time) on a Ford Dealership radio ad that explicitly alienates Atheists, while pandering to an 86% Christian majority.


When the rapture sweeps the planet
I know Heaven’s my reward,
But for now my piece of paradise
I bought from Henry Ford

It’s a broken-down jalopy;
It’s a rusted piece of junk;
But there’s Jesus on the dashboard
And a fishy on the trunk

Sure, it leaks a little oil,
And it doesn’t “turn”, but “lurch”,
Seven miles to the gallon
But it gets me to my church

You can hear me from a block away
And smell last weekend’s skunk,
But there’s Jesus on the dashboard
And a fishy on the trunk

Got a brand-new bumper sticker
Saying “What Would Jesus Do?”
Now it’s holding up my tail light
With some duct tape and some glue

You can almost hear the “Kieffe and Sons”
In every “Rattle-Clunk”,
But there’s Jesus on the dashboard
And a fishy on the trunk.

I saw a car that had a fish—
A Darwin fish, with legs!
I fixed it, with a wrecking bar
And half a dozen eggs

Don’t mess with me or with my God
You heathen, godless punk—
I’ve got Jesus on my dashboard
And a fishy on my trunk.

Friday Limericks--Graduation Day

So this weekend is graduation day for a lot of places around here. Last weekend for some, next weekend for others. Here at Cuttlefish U., commencement is this weekend, but grades are not due until next week. Which means that I am still grading while the students are celebrating. Still grading while I am trying to prepare for the Big Life-Changing Event that I will write about in a day or so (with luck, after my grades have been delivered).

I know that some of my readers have yet to suffer through even one graduation, and others have gone through 4 or more of their own, let alone their children's or their students. So we have many different perspectives here; I can't wait to read them!



It’s the end of their four (or more) years
Countless classes, and countless more beers
In a moment or two
All their loans will come due
That’s the reason for graduates’ tears!


With such pride that it’s swelling their chests,
We see Seniors escorting their guests
To their chairs on the field—
But too soon, it’s revealed:
Cuttlefish is still grading their tests!


Through the traffic and crowds I’ll be weaving
Looking flustered—but looks are deceiving;
Once you’ve gotten to know
Them for four years or so
It’s not always a joy when they’re leaving.


In the line, as you slowly advance
To receive your diploma, perchance
It would soften your frown
If you thought, ‘neath that gown,
That the speaker is not wearing pants.

Oh, wait...

Pharyngula reports on an opinion poll from Britain, revealing widespread belief that god is, in fact, male.  From the Lancashire Evening Post article:

A majority of people think God is male with nearly half of the population in Britain believing that all religions discriminate on grounds of gender.
Only 1% of people think of God as female, with 62% considering God to be male, the online survey conducted earlier this month of 1,050 adults in Britain found.

It certainly seems clear to me that somebody was made in somebody's image.

My God is pretty self-assured, and quite convinced He’s right.
He made me in His image, so He’s green-eyed, blond, and white;
And He’s very, very wrathful with the folks who disagree;
He’ll hold a grudge for centuries—Oh, wait—that might be me.

He’s insecure enough to want to hear how much you love Him
And He never will forgive you if there’s someone else above Him;
He’ll jealously react to any threat to His domain
By smiting all His enemies—Oh, wait—that’s me again.

He’ll make the world a better place for those who think like Him
For those in opposition, well, the situation’s grim;
He’ll call jihad, or else crusade—some form of Holy War
Because He knows He’s always right—Oh, wait—that’s me once more.

He’s handsome, bearded, steely-eyed, deep-voiced and somewhat haughty
So wonderful, his naughty bits are never seen as naughty
But perfectly proportioned, grand and firm and never shrinking,
A miracle of awesomeness—Oh, wait—that’s wishful thinking.

"...Ain't No Place I'd Rather Be..."

"Tennessee, Tennessee..."   PZed reports that the Tennessee State Senate has passed, by unanimous vote, a bill authorizing the State Board of Education to endorse a geocentric flat-earth physics course.  Oh, wait.  Nope.  A non-sectarian course "about the Bible and its impact on the world." 

You know... that could be fun and worthwhile, if the right people were in charge of writing the curriculum.   The Gershwins, for instance, might have something to contribute...

In Tennessee, teachers
Can now become preachers--
So says a unanimous vote--
Cos Senators Herron
And Maddox were rarin'
To see it, so that's what they wrote.

With so much invested
They made sure they tested
To pass Constitutional rules
The Establishment Clause
Is mere guideline, because
We want Bibles galore in our schools!

They teach them the latest,
Well why not the greatest?
There's no greater lesson, you know:
"The things that you're liable
To read in the Bible
It ain't necessarily so"

Three-Quarters Crazy (A Song)

This one really is a song--It has a melody and chords and everything (and yes, it has some odd rhymes--they work when it is actually being sung). I have actually sung it out loud, but I don't recall ever doing so in the presence of witnesses. I suppose it is possible, though. It's kinda a minor-key bluesy thing....I sort of imagine introducing it at an open-mic night with "here's a song for anyone who has ever been driven half-crazy by a full moon".  (For the skeptics among us, the point is that it is neither the stars nor the moon that drive us crazy.  It's the people.  Usually, one particular person.)  I'd be happy to reproduce the melody and chords, but I don't have that ability with any software I currently have.

There’s a half moon in the sky
And I’m three-quarters crazy—
I’m three-quarters crazy for you.

I thought I’d take a walk,
and try to clear my senses
Think about building bridges,
think about tearing down defenses
Think about falling in love;
Don’t think about consequences
‘Cos I’m three-quarters crazy for you.

There’s a half moon in the sky
And I’m three-quarters crazy
Been thinkin’ of you
My mind is going hazy
And I’d blame it on the stars
But what can the stars do,
When there’s a half moon in the sky,
And I’m three-quarters crazy for you?

I struggle and I fight
I always end up cryin’
No matter what I do
I may as well stop tryin’
Cos I’m bound to lose
To that half moon in Orion
And I’m three-quarters crazy for you.

There’s a half moon in the sky
And I’m three-quarters crazy
Been thinkin’ of you
My mind is going hazy
And I’d blame it on the stars
But what can the stars do,
When there’s a half moon in the sky,
And I’m three-quarters crazy for you?

Guess I’m going ‘round the bend
I guess there’s no debating
With ev’ry move I make
I feel like I am skating
Out on thinner and thinner ice
On this course I’m contemplating
And I’m three-quarters crazy for you.

But is it the moon—
Her phases got me fazing?
I mean, maybe it’s you—
you know, you really are amazing
Maybe it’s you I see
when I think that I’m star-gazing
And I’m three-quarters crazy for you.

There’s a half moon in the sky
And I’m three-quarters crazy
Been thinkin’ of you
My mind is going hazy
And I’d blame it on the stars
But what can the stars do,
When there’s a half moon in the sky,
And I’m three-quarters crazy for you?

Outside my window right now, it is much too cloudy for stars or moon, so neither are the inspiration for this particular post.  It is, however, someone's birthday...

Friday Limericks--Cars, Garages, Repairs, Payments...

...I just spent the morning--all of it--at the garage.  The good news is that the car is now safe for my son to drive.  The bad news is... well, you know what the bad news always is at the garage.  It wasn't quite a thousand, but it was within spitting distance.  I bike to work, and one reason is that my bike, and all the repairs I have ever paid for on my bike, cost less over the past 10 years than this one visit to the garage just cost.

So I'm more than a little bit miffed

As I stare at my car on the lift

And the thought of expense

Makes me just a bit tense

As they call in the afternoon shift!

There's a noise that the car always makes

As it pulls to the left, and then shakes--

It's a terrible sound--

It goes "Yeah, that's around

Seven hundred to drop on the brakes".

The finale, that just gets my goat--

The mechanic gets ready to tote

Up the numbers, then sees

Some additional fees

Based on payments he needs for his boat!

(disclaimer: I actually do really like this mechanic and this shop.  The last one, though...)

I suspect that this is a common enough theme that I can just leave it with three, and my amazing commenters will soon put me to shame!