One year ago today my brother died.
At his hospital bedside, I sang to him--music, I thought, affects so much of the brain, perhaps this will get through. A familiar song, a catchy song, one he had sung so many times. Maybe he'll open his eyes and join in on the chorus.
He did not.
If we live on only in the memories and actions of others, he's doing better than most.
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
Posts
Posts
The new home of The Digital Cuttlefish is at http://freethoughtblogs.com/cuttlefish . I hope to see you there!
Banner image © the remarkable Michael McRae
Banner layout courtesy of Matt Hagglund
The Big Book O' Cuttlefish is now available! The perfect gift for both friends and enemies!
Tip Jar (paypal)--Support Pseudonymous Doggerel! No amount is too small (or too large)!
Cuttlefish goodies on CafePress!
Like the logo? Wear it!
About Me
Followers
Subscribe To
Posts
Posts
Blog Archive
-
▼
2011
(186)
-
▼
July
(24)
- Headline Muse, 7/31
- Rumor Has It
- Headline Muse, 7/30
- God Is Love, Right?
- Cuttlefish's Garden
- Headline Muse, 7/29
- Headline Muse
- One Last Dance
- The Lion Sleeps Tonight
- Should I Be Cross?
- My Marriage Is Gay Today
- Bless This Mess
- Mc-Write?
- Dog Almighty
- A Brief History Of Religion
- Words, Words, Words
- Parthenogenesis
- Lizard!
- The Bornean Rainbow
- R.I.P. Methuselah The Galapagos Tortoise
- Is There "Ex-Liar" Therapy?
- Hey, You! Hang Up The Car Keys!
- Atheist For A Month
- Pluralistic Ignorance
-
▼
July
(24)
People wonderful enough to have me on their blogrolls (please let me know if I have left you off)
- A Candle In The Dark
- A Snail's Eye View
- Across The Bilayer
- Almost Diamonds
- Anal Iced Bible
- Archaeoastronomy
- Au Bunker de la dernière Rafale
- Autopoiesis (from Cuttlefish Digital)
- Bock The Robber
- Cassandra's Tears
- Chimaera Contemplations
- CONNEX[I|O]NS
- Cubic's Rube
- Daylight Atheism
- Decrepit Old Fool
- Der Misanthrop
- Dubito Ergo Sum
- Everything and more
- Ferret's Cage
- Fish and Aquatic News
- Fremania
- General Carlessness (BTW, Digital Cuttlefish bikes to work)
- Girl Of The Gaps
- Goat and Compasses
- Holford Watch
- Hot Dogs, Pretzels, and Perplexing Questions
- i & o
- I Am Lab Boy
- I think I need a shoehorn
- Impolite Conversation
- Intrinsically Knotted
- Jeff's Lunchbreak
- Jon Strong
- Just Write
- Knowledge Base
- Kobra's Corner
- Laelaps
- Limerick Fun
- Linnaeus' Legacy
- Living the Scientific Life (Scientist, Interrupted) (GrrlScientist!)
- Lounge Of The Lab Lemming
- Maxwell's Demoness
- Metroblog
- Mors Dei
- Musings Of A Dinosaur
- My Spleen and Welcome to It
- New Minority
- Not For Sheep
- november foxtrot whiskey
- Of Two Minds
- Opinion of a Minion
- Pet Monologues
- Podblack Blog
- Pro-Science
- Realm Of The Weary Muse 2.0
- Reduce to Common Sense
- remote central
- Retrospectacle
- Right To Think
- Science After Sunclipse
- Science Notes
- Scribblings & Sketches
- Skiing Mount Improbable
- Skulls In The Stars
- Sojourn North
- Tangled Up In Blue Guy
- The Agnostic Monk
- The Barefoot Bum
- The Dysfunctional Angel
- The Flying Trilobite
- The Grackle's Nest
- The Greenbelt (where I am on the same list as XKCD!)
- The Happy Scientist
- The Nervous Axon
- The Other 95%
- The Perky Skeptic
- The Reef Tank Blog
- Thinking For Free
- Varia & Eventualia
- VWXYNot?
- Waiting For Rain
- Wandering In The Wilderness
9 comments:
Brilliant song. The second funeral I conducted was for my father-in-law. We played "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" at his funeral.
With my best wishes,
Belinda
Dear CF,
I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm afraid that when I lost my brother when he was just 18 years old, no one ever told me, that decades later, I could still think about that day, and feel the searing pain like it just happened. No one prepared me for the idea that the pain doesn't go away, you simply learn to live with it. I also remember the music he had chosen for himself the last day (Metallica and Slayer; slightly different genre than your own choice).
Immortality is real, people do live on in the memories of those who love them. I carry my brother and father (who died 4 years ago) with me every day.
That's why the stuff about "closure" is nonsense, thank goodness - I don't want to be closed off from those I love who are dead, and clearly you don't either, Cuttles - even though "closure" might hurt less. Makita's thought is a valuable one - we should prepare people for the lasting present of bereavement. And of course music is a powerful flashback flashpoint. Especially a great old song like this.
So sorry you had to write this one, but pleased to find simple truths for us here, O wise Cephalopod!
Best
Gloria
Thank you, Belinda--It seems I am gathering a strange following among Funeral Celebrants. Good people.
makita! It has been too long since I have seen your name here. Thank you for the ... warning? My sincere condolences for your losses old and new.
gloriamundi--thank you, and I agree; the life had a closure, but the memories need not. I just raised a glass of single malt, here in an empty room, to my brother, to what he has done, what he would have done, and what others have done and will do in his memory.
Dancing Monkey--it takes a special kind of heartlessness to spam a post like this. I really hope we meet in person some day. You might want to hope we do not.
makita is so right, "the pain doesn't go away, you simply learn to live with it." A virtual hug to our rhyming cephalopod.
Muito obrigado, Kathie; hugs are very appreciated today.
* hugs *
{{{Cuttlefish}}}
So sorry for your loss. I concur with what the others have said about bereavement; the pain doesn't go away, but you do become accustomed to it. Most of the time. Until something happens that makes it freshly poignant.
Post a Comment