Thursday, December 23, 2010

Nope, Didn't Work (It Never Works)

Hush-a-bye puppy
Here on the bed
No need for barking
Lay down your head
I know it’s scary
When everything’s dark
But Daddy’s still grading,
Puppy, don’t bark!

On the plus side, no burglar will ever come within 50 feet of the house without the dogs barking their heads off. On the minus side, I will have habituated to this barking, and will sleep soundly while the burglar relieves us of our valuables. On the plus side, we have no valuables. On the minus side, we have no valuables.


Anonymous said...

Away in his cottage
Dad's crib for his bed,
The Cuttlefish puppy
Lays down his sweet head.

The stars in the sky
Seem an indistinct threat
The Cuttlefish pup - he
Says, "Browh-wow-wow-wow-wow! Bah! Rah! Brararaahhhh!"

Cuttlefish said...

Howard, how are you spying on me?!?!

Damn, that's accurate!

Anonymous said...

Dogs is dogs is dogs.

Anonymous said...


Podblack said...

Australian dog is Australian! :D Arooooo it's daytime elsewhere! :)

Cuttlefish said...

Heh--that's right, you've seen my dog! Being Australian would explain so much of his behavior: tell him to stay, he goes; tell him to be quiet, he barks; tell him to go away, he stays by your side. It's like he's on the wrong side of the planet!

Anonymous said...

I thought dingos didn't bark. Or is some other, louder, Australian dog?

Cuttlefish said...

My dog looks a bit like an Australian Kelpie, but a bit smaller. We have a couple of Kelpies in the area (beautiful dogs!) that look like they could be his older brothers.

Dingos, on the other hand, are creatures of myth, like drop-bears, wallabies, and Rolf Harris.

Anonymous said...

Rolf Harris is mythical? Does this mean I have to give up my wobble-board?

Cuttlefish said...

Remember, as the Catholics tell us, just because something or someone is mythical, does not mean they are not real.

I think they are mostly talking about Rolf Harris, but I could be wrong.

"Nayle me son to a cross, boss-
Nayle me son to a cross!
It won't be much of a loss, boss,
Just nayle me son to a cross!"

Anonymous said...

Cuttlefish, I am slain. I have nothing to add. I just want you to know that you win your blog.

Johnny Vector said...

We all win!

markmier said...

Your last bit reminds me of:

Owner: Take this object, but beware it carries a terrible curse!
Homer: [worried] Ooooh, that's bad.
Owner: But it comes with a free Frogurt!
Homer: [relieved] That's good.
Owner: The Frogurt is also cursed.
Homer: [worried] That's bad.
Owner: But you get your choice of topping!
Homer: [relieved] That's good.
Owner: The toppings contains Potassium Benzoate.
Homer: [stares]
Owner: That's bad.
Homer: [worried] Can I go now?